you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
