gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
