you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
