i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
