I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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