sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
