He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
