What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
