last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
