your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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