They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
