Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Sober January is a disaster.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
do nipples grow back?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
