What a fucking waste of an outfit
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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