she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
