that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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