the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
