It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize