it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
did i walk over a car last night?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
