My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
