He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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