But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
