ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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