i jhust puked up my retainher.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
