So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize