i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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