Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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