The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize