there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
