guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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