Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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