I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
cat food counts as protein by the way
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize