We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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