you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
