this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize