I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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