honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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