So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize