$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize