CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
