I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
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