i need an iv and a liver transplant
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Randomize
