why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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