A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
