We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
