Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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