Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
