That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
