I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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