But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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