Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
