We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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