thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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