he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
