put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
