i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
