I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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