Pregnant stripper...not hot.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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