no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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